Stay
by panicmoonwalker
Summary: It kills him. He knows there's more to it, and Jess won't open up to him. It was as if the 3 months apart created a rift in their relationship.


**I know I've already done a reunion fic but this idea popped into my head today and I couldn't resist writing it.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

When Nick comes back from New Orleans sans Reagan, Jess is thrilled and she jumps off the couch and runs to hug him because she missed him _so_ much. They stand in the doorway hugging, and her heart is leaping at the feel of his arms wrapped around her so tightly, but then Cece clears her throat and they separate.

Schmidt goes in as soon as the disconnect, going on about how much he missed Nick and how he should never go away for 3 months ever again. Nick settles back into his couch hole after putting his bags in his room, and Jess isn't sure why she had gotten her hopes up when Reagan hadn't been with him when he arrived back at the loft.

"She's in New York now for a month, then coming back here… I decided I wanted to give the whole long distance thing a try again, I'm older and more mature, I think I can finally handle it." Nick looks over the moon as he speaks. He _really_ likes her; she even wonders if he's falling in love with her.

"Enough about Reagan, we're so glad you're back!" Schmidt says, obviously _he_ knows because _Cece_ knows and she's looking sadly over at her but she ignores it.

"Schmidt that's rude." Jess glares at him, "I'm happy for you, Nick."

She honestly is. Jess _is_ happy that he's happy, and she ignores the _reason_ why he's happy is Reagan. She ignores that she helped them get together. She tries not to think about how the eyes, lips and hands that once loved her were now all for Reagan. It's not her place to be jealous. She was okay when Nick was with Kai, she can be happy for him when he's with Reagan.

Her brain is working overload, trying to keep her emotions in tact as she openly lies to her best friend. The one she loves the most dearly. In that moment it all gets too hard.

"I-I'm going to bed." Jess manages to keep a smile on her face as she rushes to her room, and she can feel his eyes on her. He knows something is up, but he can't figure out what it was.

* * *

Later that night, Nick is sitting at the kitchen table on his laptop. He was skyping Reagan, and he's glad to be hearing about her day at work but his head is somewhere else. She notices that he isn't listening and asks what's wrong. "I'm sorry, but Jess seemed upset when she went to bed tonight. Like when I left…" Nick shrugs.

"Maybe she isn't over Sam."

"I mean… _Maybe_. But I never thought their relationship was that intense, I know she loves hard but I didn't think she'd still love him after 3 months."

"Why else would she be upset?"

"I don't know, Reagan. She's my best friend, I hate seeing her down. I just gotta find a way to make her happy again."

"Wow…"

"What?"

"It amazes me how devoted you still are to her even though she's your ex."

"Like I said, she's my best friend. That's why we broke up, we didn't want to lose each other as a friend."

"It seems a bit silly… Has your friendship been the same since?"

"No. It's still healing I think," Nick sighs, "No matter what happened between us, I'm always going to need her in my life. She's the reason I went away with you for 3 months, the reason I'm doing long distance."

"You must be _really_ close…"

"Yeah. She's changed me, in the best way possible."

"That's sweet. Well it's 1AM… I should really be going to sleep."

They say their goodbyes and Nick just sits at his laptop with his head in his hands, thinking deeply, but he's not sure exactly what about at the same time. Nick isn't sure how long he is sitting there, but after a while he hears her door open and the patter of her feet across the hardwood floor.

"Oh, hi Nick." Jess freezes in place when she spots him.

"Hey."

"I was just getting myself a snack… I didn't have much for dinner."

She continues to walk to the kitchen, taking out a packet of chips and grabbing a jar of salsa. He laughs and lifts himself out of his chair as he watches her struggle to open the jar. "Jess, do ya need some help?" Nick smiles down at her, and her head snaps up her eyes as big and blue as they always were. The situation was all too familiar.

"No I'm fine." Jess whispers out nervously, he watches her as she gathers all the strength in her body to open the jar.

"Wow, have you been working out?" Nick teases, his smile falling as she looks back up at him, she's upset. "I'm sorry Jess… Please tell me what's wrong? I haven't seen you in 3 months, I want to catch up."

They spend a moment in silence, and he can tell she's about to cave and tell him. He reaches his hand out to touch her shoulder and she flinches backwards, tears filling her eyes. "I'm really okay, Nick. I've had a really long day at work…" Jess laughs the tears away, picking up her chips and salsa and shuffling back to her bedroom.

It kills him. He knows there's more to it, and Jess won't open up to him. It was as if the 3 months apart created a rift in their relationship.

* * *

As soon as Jess re-enters her room, she rests her head against the door and slides to the floor. She finally lets the tears fall freely down her face, slowly dipping her chips into the salsa and eating them as she cried silently. It was the first time since she had realised her feelings that she had let herself cry.

Seeing him again, feeling the slightest touch made her chest tighten as if she were in a tank full of snakes that were slowly wrapping around her and suffocating her. How long she could put up an act around Nick she wasn't sure, but she had to try if she were going to have Nick stay in her life. She just had to supress her feelings, as she had since they had broken up.

* * *

A month passes and in that time Jess becomes an expert at hiding her feelings, even though she's the type of person that wears her whole heart on his sleeve. It's hard, but in the second week of him being home, it gets easier. She can _almost_ talk to him as if they were friends before they first kissed again, it felt so nice.

She's in her own glass case of happiness, which included only Nick with no Reagan. It shatters when he sees _her_ on the couch with _him_ after work on a Friday afternoon. The tight feeling in her chest returns and she puts on her best smile on which Schmidt (Cece's at the bar) sees through right away, but Nick is in his own love bubble so he doesn't notice how her smile doesn't meet her eyes.

Reagan is off his laps in seconds, going up to Jess to greet her. "Oh hey Reagan, I thought you weren't the hugging type." Jess chuckles, half-heartedly hugging her back.

"Yeah, Nick has softened me a bit." Reagan grins. She did seem much nicer than before.

"It's my eyes, they always make the ladies gooey." Nick jokes, and Jess rolls her eyes because she hates how _true_ that is. "Now that you're back Jess, I was thinking we could all go to the bar and hang out before I have to work."

"Oh, well I was thinking I would have a quiet night. Those kids are crazy, so I need some good ol' Jess time…" She scratches the top of her head, "You guys go though."

Nick frowns at her but agrees, knowing that she probably genuinely needed some time alone. He walks up to Reagan and kisses her deeply, his hand on her waist and smiling at her as they walk through the door. Schmidt looks sadly at her as he follows them with Winston and Aly, who had caught on as well.

"I'll be fine guys. Just go." Jess' eyes are filling with tears, but she's trying to cover it up with a smile. The pain was too raw, seeing them actually together.

* * *

At the bar, they were only able to hang out with Nick for 15 minutes before he had to get behind the bar, Cece joining them a few minutes later. Reagan had followed Nick, and hung around the bar while he worked, occasionally stopping by her to give her a kiss.

"How was Jess?" Cece asks sadly.

"She tried really hard to keep it together, and she did until they left acting all lovey-dovey. Kind of like that." Winston grimaces, all looking over at Nick and Reagan, who had her arms wrapped around his neck.

"I'm _so_ mad at Nick." Schmidt shakes his head, "Dumbest boy in school."

"It's not like he knows though…" Aly shrugs, "They must have really had something for her to be hurting this much."

"They loved each other more than anyone else, they just didn't realise at the time." Winston explains. "They still do. Even before Jess realised, they kept looking out for and cared for each other…"

"If he knew… God, what would he do if he knew?" Cece cries out, "He'd drop Reagan so fast."

"It's always been Jess for him, he even knows that but he's so blind to her emotions because of Reagan." Schmidt says, looking genuinely looking gobsmacked.

" _Oh_ , idea. It might be because I'm drunk but I think this is a really good idea." Winston is tapping his fingers on the table, "What if we just tell him _for_ her?"

"No! That's the dumbest idea." Aly rolls her eyes.

"Yeah, she has to be the one who finds the courage to tell him." Cece agrees, "I'm going to see how she's going…"

* * *

The loft is dark and silent when Cece arrives home. She looks around, with no sign of Jess in the kitchen or on the couch, so she knocks on Jess' bedroom door. There's no reply, but she can hear Jess sniffle so she opens the door. She's wrapped up in multiple blankets, with her laptop in front of her. With the small light source of her computer, Cece can see her tear stained cheeks.

"Jess…" Cece pouts at her friends, rushing to her side.

Jess can barely get a word out before the tears start running down her cheeks again, biting her lip to stop the sob building up in her gut. "Babe, let it out. It's not healthy to hold it in." Cece joins her under the blankets, hugging her best friend as close as she can. Jess wraps her arms around Cece's neck, letting the cry out.

They sit there together for a half hour, Jess trying to calm her breathing, then crying again and the cycle just repeats. Jess finally manages to steady her breathing; she looks up at Cece who finally took a moment to look at what was on her laptop. "What is this?"

"I can't do this Cece. I have to." Jess eyes fill up with tears again, shaking her head.

"Moving out is not the solution, Jess!" Cece raises her voice.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't stay here and watch Nick be with someone else, it hurts too much." Jess levels her voice to Cece's, hers a little shakier. "I should have done this when we broke up. You shouldn't live with your ex, it's too complicated. I don't know why we thought we could do it, why we were any different to other broken up couples."

"Why don't you just tell him?" Cece asks.

"I don't want to bring him that trouble of choosing. He deserves so much, and he really seems happy with Reagan, I can't get in between that."

"You really need to stop being so selfless all the time."

"Cece, no. That's who I am. All I want is Nick to be happy, and I know I need to make myself happy as well so that's why I have to leave. Separate myself from Nick."

"That's dumb. You think that helped get rid of my feelings for Schmidt?"

"Well it'll be easier than watching him fall in love with Reagan. Which was partly my doing."

Cece doesn't know what to do or say to convince her to stay. She knows it's a bad idea for her to move out of the loft, it's something Jess would regret. "It's the last thing I want to do but…I have to let go, Cece. It's not my love story."

Jess seems fully convinced of this. Cece doesn't believe it, but she knows there was nothing _she_ could do at this point to convince her otherwise, so she just nods, "Will it really make you happy? Moving out and away from Nick?"

"Yes, Cece. It's for the best." Jess hesitates for a moment, but her voice is confident.

Cece gives up with a sigh, "Okay then, I support you. What have we got so far?"

* * *

The very next day Jess and Cece go to a few open listings for a one-bedroom apartment. Jess is thankful to get away from the loft, as Reagan and Nick would be home all day since it was a Saturday.

The first 3 apartments are sketchy (and too close to the loft for Jess' liking). She finally likes the next one. It was 30 minutes away from the loft, 40 minutes from the bar but only 20 minutes from school, a sacrifice she was willing to take. "This place really suits you, Jess. Very nice." Cece says, wishing that her friend would change her mind.

The walls were a pale blue, and there were bookshelves lining one wall which she would love to fill. There was an open archway to the kitchen which was small and had the space for a little table in the corner. Down the hall from the open living area there was the bathroom and then what would be her bedroom. "It's perfect. Just what I need." Jess chokes on the words, but she has a smile on her face.

"Jess, you really don't have to do this. Just tell him." Cece begs her.

"No, this will be good for me." She finds the realtor in the kitchen, and begins to talk to him about putting her name down for the apartment.

* * *

Jess avoids Nick as much as she can in the next few weeks, and it pisses him off. Their friendship had continued to improve and it made him really happy, they spent so much time together and now she was dodging him at every corner like he was the plague. He was itching for answers, and it stopped him from focusing on his other relationships.

He even woke up super early before she left for work so he could catch her, but when she got out she was already dressed, grabbed a banana and rushed out the door with not even a good morning thrown in his direction.

Nick sat still at the kitchen bench until everyone else woke up. "Do you guys know why the hell Jess is ignoring me?" His nostrils are flaring; he hadn't felt this angry in a long time.

"Oh no…" Winston shakes his head.

"She hasn't told you?" Schmidt groans, taking the orange juice out of the fridge.

"Told me what?" Silence. "WHAT HASN'T SHE TOLD ME?"

"Jess is moving out." Cece blurts out.

Nick falls silent, and there's a ringing noise that won't leave his ear and it feels like someone had taken a hold of his heart and torn it in two. "Wh…what?" He breathes out.

"Something about it being too crowded, I think." Cece lies straight through her teeth.

"Then why… why didn't she tell me? Why has she been ignoring me?"

"It's harder to tell you I guess… I kept on telling her that she had to tell you." Cece looks down at her bowl of cereal that Schmidt had prepared for her.

"She… She can't move out." Nick's vision is beginning to blur, and he really doesn't want to cry in front of his friends.

"She is… In a week." Schmidt joins, "Her room is full of boxes."

Nick shakes his head, swiftly moving towards her room. He continues to shake his head vigorously when he opens the door and sees the mostly full boxes around her room. It was so… empty. "No."

"Nick…" Cece puts her hand on his arm, but he shakes it off.

"Jess can't… No… she can't leave." Nick lets the tears fall freely, his heart breaking at the thought of his best friend leaving the loft after all they had been through.

"Come on, Nick. Come out of there." Winston tugs on his arm.

"No, I'm staying here. I'm going to wait until she comes home and I'm going to talk to her." Nick pulls his arm away and sits on her bed.

"She's precisely planned to not come home until you start your shift." Cece tells him.

"Cover me, Cece. Please cover me. I have to talk to her." Nick begs, pulling at his hair as he tries to hold himself together.

Cece agrees, but only because she truly hopes that he'll be able to convince her to stay. He's the only one that could do it.

* * *

Jess arrives home, exhausted after a day of teaching and trying to find the courage to tell Nick she was leaving. All she wanted to do was collapse in her bed and think about how she had to pack up and leave so soon. Jess didn't want to leave, not at all, but it hurt too much to stay.

There were too many memories in every corner of the loft, so many happy times that turned miserable because _Nick wasn't hers_ any longer. If she remained there… She would be glum until they all left the loft to move on and then she'd have to leave all alone and _without_ him.

Thinking about it again made her too tired to even pour herself a glass of pink wine before she climbed into bed. She stopped dead in her tracks when she opened her door and found Nick standing by one of the many boxes in her room. "H-Hi." She manages to squeak out. "Don't you have work?"

"Cece's covering for me." Nick has a tight frown on his face, obviously angry. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know…" Jess says, breathing deeply to keep herself from falling apart. "It's just a bit crowded now so I thought I might move out…"

"You're lying."

"Wh-what?"

"You are lying to me." Nick steps around a few of the boxes, "You've been lying to me ever since I got back from New Orleans. I don't know what about, but you aren't talking to me anymore and that fucking sucks, Jess."

"I'm sorry."

"So why are you leaving?"

Jess sucks in a quick breath, avoiding his eyes which were drilling into her for an answer. She shakes her head, taking a step back as he moved closer to her. She wouldn't break, she couldn't prevent him from being happy.

Nick walks up to her, grabbing her shoulders and unintentionally raising his voice, "Why are you leaving, _Jessica_?"

"BECAUSE I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Jess shouts, finally meeting his eyes and letting the sudden tears fall. "I'm in love with you Nick, and I want you to be happy!"

Nick drops his hands; his mouth opens in shock from the spontaneous confession. His eyes scan hers for a few moments, knowing that that was all truth and her behaviour since his return was made perfectly clear. "What… what exactly made you think moving out would make me happy?" Nick asks.

"It's partly selfish… You seem really happy with Reagan and it kills me to watch you two falling in love so I thought I'd let you be happy and I'd move out. To make it easier for myself. All I want is for you to be happy, Nick."

"How is that selfish _at all_?" Nick shakes his head, "And if you had just talked to me you would know that Reagan and I broke up a week ago."

"I… you… what?" Jess is breathing heavily, "You guys broke up?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"She believes that I'm _too_ _invested_ in my best friend… You."

"I'm sorry, Nick."

"I'm not." He laughs softly, "No one could ever stop you from being in my life, Jessica. You are too important to me; you make me a better person. Without you… I don't want to think of who I am without you. So now I beg of you, don't leave the loft. Don't leave me."

"Nick…"

"Stay, Jessica, _please_." Nick takes her hands in his, "I love you."

Jess' heart skips a beat, her eyes filling up with tears again. "Y-you do?"

"I never stopped. I just thought that being friends is what you wanted, and you know I'd do anything for you." Nick grins shyly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a familiar coin. "I never stopped carrying it, Jess. You are my heart, and I could _never_ live without you. How I went the first 30 years of my life without you astounds me."

Her arms move up his arms and curl around his neck, smiling up at him in disbelief. "I love you, Nick." Jess laughs, tears still falling down her cheeks, "God, it feels good to say that again."

He nods in agreement and they both fall silent, their faces slowly inching closer before their lips finally meet for the first time in years. It's the happiest Jess has felt in a very long time. Her tears are wetting his cheeks as she deepens the kiss, and his hands move from her hair down her back and resting on her waist.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." Jess cries happily, when they separate before his lips fall back on hers and his tongue invades her mouth.

He leads her towards the bed, kissing just below her ear before saying, "Does this mean you're staying?"

"Yes, Nick. Of course." Jess giggles, pulling him down onto the bed with her.

* * *

Late at night, Cece, Winston and Schmidt enter the loft cautiously, hoping for the best. They walk to Jess' room, her door open and smile when they spot the two of them in bed, naked and asleep. Nick opens his eyes, staring down at her and stroking the hair out of her face before he notices their roommates standing there.

"Did you sex her into staying?" Schmidt jokes with eyebrows raised.

"No you idiot." Nick laughs quietly, shaking his head. "We talked… and now here we are."

Cece grins widely at Nick. She knew that if anyone could convince Jess to stay, it was going to be Nick. It was always going to be Nick.

"Goodnight." Cece says, closing the door quietly.

Jess stirs at the click of the door closing, smiling when she feels the warmth of his arms around her. "I'm so happy." Jess mumbles, nuzzling into his neck.

"Me too, Jess." Nick strokes up and down her spine, "Cece, Schmidt and Winston know."

"I could hear them; I just didn't want to deal with them." Jess tells him, "I'll talk to them in the morning… I just want you Nick."

"I couldn't agree with you more." Nick smirks, holding her face so he could kiss her again.

"I never want to leave this bed." Jess laughs, as his kisses move down her neck.

"We could live in this bed if we tried."

"That's so gross."

"I know; I regret saying it." Nick snorts, moving back to his face and tucking strands of her behind her ears. "Jess, I want you to know that I don't regret being apart for so long."

"What?"

"We both needed that time to grow, make ourselves better for this moment." Nick says, "But I also want to say that I am never letting you go again. I want to fight for us now, even if the future is scary. There's no one else I'd rather be scared with than my best friend."

It's a promise that he intends to keep, and she believes whole heartedly that he would.


End file.
